Monday, May 01, 2017

Innalillahiwainnailaihirojiun Mummy

it is with great sadness i compose an entry of the passing of a life. it is even sadder that the passing is of my mother, allahyaharmah puan sri faridah mohamed. my mother left us on 19 april 2017, the day amira turned 18 months. i am unable to compose a new entry therefore i'll paste what i had written on my facebook page, a day after her passing...

"Its been a tiring 4 weeks, trying to slot hospital visits in our already-busy daily schedule and getting daily updates. Everything escalated on Tuesday when the four of us received phone calls from TSSC breaking the bad news - it doesnt look good & asked us to make a decision on what to do next.
We convened outside the ICU Tuesday afternoon to get a clearer picture from the specialists. The anesthetist told us, Mummy suffered a stroke post the major surgery she had the previous week, the stroke attacked half of her brain, she also had pneumonia that attacked her right lung. She was on support and had no chance of waking up. The neuro said, even if she did wake up, she would be in vegetative state.
We discussed and came to a decision that she should not suffer any more than she already had. We called her relatives, they came that evening, to see her, to read the Yassin, to say goodbye, and stayed on till well into the night. We agreed that the support will be eased off the next day, Wednesday.
We all went in to see her before we left the hospital. Tiza & I looked at the machine and said, her BP is high! We kissed her hand, said goodnite, see you tomorrow and went home.
We were on NKVE when the hospital called asking us to come back quickly. We drove back to the hospital, it was almost midnight. The ICU nurses said her BP crashed after we left. We cried, read the Yassin to her, whispered our last words to her, whispered the Syahadah to her. We waited by her bedside for an hour and she finally left us at 12.40am. Maybe she wanted to go on her own, without us having to ease off the support.
We had very little sleep that night. We prepared the boys and left for the mosque Wednesday morning. Everything went smoothly and on time that morning. The boys finally got the chance to see Nenny, after not being able to the whole time she was in the ICU. They cried (Ariff was inconsolable) and they kissed her before she was fully covered.
Despite the sad occasion, it was wonderful to see so many familiar faces, faces of friends and teachers and neighbours I have not seen for years. At the mosque, there were primary school friends, secondary school friends, office mates, current neighbours amongst Mummy's friends and family. So many came to pray and pay their last respects to her, she was loved MasyaAllah. The skies were blue and clear and the burial process was smooth.
I did not get to say thank you to those who came, to those who helped us, to those who offered prayers, kind words, to those who spared us a thought, who spared Mummy a thought. But please know we appreciate them all. Alhamdulillah, she was blessed to have such wonderful family and friends and we hope prayers for her wellbeing will never cease."

my mother's life in pictures...

on our last family outing, to celebrate tiza's & amir's birthdays & mummy & tssc's anniversary...

although i was only 6 years old, i clearly remember this birthday celebration. we had it in kota bharu during the school holidays, and i remember mummy and her sisters going all out to prepare for this celeration. i even remember the mihun goreng.

with her cucus (minus amira...the baby is adam)

rare shot of mummy carrying amira

she really wanted to move to this house...

celebrating her 74th birthday on hari raya haji last year...

on 19 april 2017...

and the clippings...

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Amira's 18 Months

the day amira turns 18 months is sadly, also the day her grandmother passed away. it was an extremely sad day for our family and it took me a while before i can finally start a post of amira's milestone at 1 & a half years.

the first of her major milestone is her vocabulary and speech. gosh...amira talks a lot! like seriously a lot. she's grasping and throwing out so many words and each word fits the occasion. she's saying 'one more' when she puts on her clothes, she's saying 'tutup' every time she leaves a room - to switch off the fan or lights, she tells us everytime she soils her diaper with a simple 'gross'. of course, she's mastered the 'nanak', 'nak', 'bak', 'tido', 'mamam', 'minyum', 'ok' for months. she's an expert at calling everyone in the family - mummy, dadda, yong, abam, ekkkk and beeeeee. also pappy and zizzaaa for her uncle and auntie.

amira has familiarised herself with body parts. she knows 'eyes', 'nose', 'mulut', 'gigi', 'kaki', 'perut'. she's also familiar with actions - 'smile', 'dance', 'run', 'tido', 'sleep', allahuakbar for pray, bismilliah for prayers before meal.

amira is super close to her brothers. at night she can lie down among them, watching the telly. she's also close to abang's friends who come over every weekend.

amira had a slight sleeping disturbance when she was about to hit her 18th month - sleep regression, its called - but she grew out of it within a week. now she's back at waking at up at 9am, a half-an-hour nap at around 1pm, a 2-hour nap at 3pm, and bedtime is at 10.30pm.

she's only taking one bottle a day, just before her afternoon nap. sometimes she gets a bottle after dinner, especially when her dinner is light. but no more before bedtime as i dont want her to be dependent on a bottle to fall asleep.

amira's trying out some new food these couple of months. she loves raisins and pasta carbonara and flavoured rice - nasi tomato, nasi lemak, nasi butter - in addition to her white rice meals. she loves fruits, she's asking for mangoes and oranges and melons, even strawberries now. when we're at chili's she'll be having a bowl of mac & cheese. amira had a taste of the last lompat tikam her nenny made on abangbee's birthday lunch and she loved it.

i took out her 18-24 months sized outfits and now she's happily showing off her new clothes to her brothers and daddy everytime they come home from school and from work.

Monday, March 27, 2017

Unwell EAS1

about a week after akmal started to feel 'normal' again, amira's temperature suddenly shot up. it was early friday morning when she climbed over me from her cot, as she would normally do, and i felt she was hot. not warm...very very hot! i quickly took the thermometer and it was showing a 39c reading. i gave her a bath, gave her pcm and throughout the day her temperature played around 38c - 39c.

the next morning it was even worse, at 39.3c but we had plans to go to ikea and we proceeded with the plan, after giving her pcm and sponging. at ikea she was pretty ok but once we got home she was moody and weak and we brought her to the nearest clinic to get her checked. her blood test showed nothing too concerning and the doctor said it could be viral fever, as with akmal, but we needed to monitor her in case its something else.

on sunday, she was still feverish but she was all better on monday. she was able to play and eat and watch telly with her brothers who were on school holiday. she was weak but i attributed that to post-fever.

then on tuesday it came back. her temperature went higher and higher as the day passed. we've been giving her pcm constantly but nothing's happening. she's on constant sponging and bathes 3-4 times a day to keep the temperature down. she wakes up at 2am as her body is so hot and i'd spent an hour getting her body cool again. on wednesday we took her back to the clinic. blood test again, and again, nothing could be found. then the doctor said, do nasal swab and there it was. influenza A for amira.

the next day we took her to dsh to see dr azizi. another round of nasal swab to confirm and as they did the swab they prepped her for admission, just in case. and confirmed they did, as well as wheezing and coughing and because of the three combination, amira had to be admitted and stayed on in the hospital for 5 days.

amira was on antiviral for the influenza, antibiotics for the cough & wheezing, pcm for the first couple of days as her temperature was still high and on 4-hourly nebuliser. she lost a lot of weight, slept a lot but slowly recovered.

once she was finally discharged, it was up to mummy to get her back to her chubby self...


the value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults - peter de vries

grown-ups never understand anything for themselves and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explainning things to them - antoine de saint-exupery
Images by Freepik