Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Asyraf is Nine

i feel bad for asyraf on his birthday this year. its been a turmoil of a year for me and asyraf. he's been my target during my pregnancy. nothing he did was ever ok with me. he was too irritating, too noisy, too loud, too in the way, just too there. i couldn't stand the sight of him and could get angry at him just by looking at him. once i gave birth, however, like in the exact hour, the feeling all went away. i wish i could turn back the 9 months and take back how i treated him.

his birthday came when i was still in confinement. i was tired and cranky and not up to having anything or doing anything. poor asyraf. he had a great celebration last year, he wasn't expecting another this year but i guess he didn't expect this low-key of a day either.

dinner was planned, of course, as with other birthdays in this household. but other than that, no one really did anything. he got cards from his siblings, but that was after he asked for them. he got simple wishes from all of us before we all went back to our daily routine - me with amira, the boys with their thomas and hot wheels and the tv. the birthday boy spent the whole day in front of his ps3. asyraf also did not get his birthday present on his birthday - blame the father for that.

unfortunately, dinner plans did not materialize. it was raining heavily, coupled with it being a friday, we were not up to leaving the area. we went for a quick arabic dinner nearby. we made it up to asyraf with a birthday lunch the next day, after his morning football. surprise, surprise, his bff was also at the restaurant so guess that's good for asyraf.

happy birthday abang…may there be less dirtiness, less crying, less hogging of the remote control, less falling asleep in front of the telly, less screaming and jumping for no reason, less losing your stationeries, less losing your spectacles. and hope you get your present soon…

alhamdulillah, asyraf's biggest accomplishment this year, is finally being able to ride a two-wheel bicycle…

Saturday, November 21, 2015

One Month On…Mummy

amira turning one month means mummy has survived two-thirds of her gruesome confinement. its been so-so this time. tiring because of the old age, tiring because of the older boys, tiring because amira can be a handful. but at the same time, not too difficult because the older boys are in school, not too difficult because i'm alone with amira, not too difficult because i roughly know how to adjust my time and schedule to fit amira's.

food wise has been easy. preparing and marinating the salmon, chicken and beef beforehand, helps a lot. during the first month, i only had to chuck them into the oven and grab some veggies for a good meal. breakfast is my all-time favorite corn flakes. occasionally toasts. or maybe some boiled eggs. dinner is probably something hubby brings back on the way home form work or yet another oven-grilled meal or cereal or just fruits. after a long day, i'm just looking forward to being in bed and food is the last thing on my mind.

i had 10 days of massage. blissful 10 mornings. initially amira would sleep through the 2 hour period but towards the last couple of days she seems to be envious of mummy's alone time and would kick a fuss, prompting me to have her by myside when i had my massage.

i planned on breastfeeding, or at least try to, and managed to for a week but that was it. i was too stressed with the older boys around and i just cannot sit still with a cuddling baby for hours. after a week, it was fully bottle and formula for amira. alhamdulillah she's taken to the bottle easily and did not kick a fuss. feeding is a quick affair, and i was free to do other things once feeding is done.

i did not bathe amira the first month. in the morning, i would give her a sponge bath on the changing table. at night hubby would give her a bath. we still take ages to get her ready and with the older boys being an audience, it gets too much sometimes.

i do feel it takes longer for me to get back on my feet. sometimes i'm just too tired to get out of bed. i know, its the age catching up. it also takes longer to heal post-delivery. i still feel the epidural effect once in a while. hopefully once the confinement ends, or once i cross the two-month mark, i would be back to normal, insyaAllah.

Friday, November 20, 2015

One Month On…Amira

alhamdulillah, amira turned 1 month old yesterday. she's been pretty good the past month. she is taking all her brothers' traits one at a time, bit by bit. initially she was like ariff, sleeping a lot, sleeping through her bath time even. she also took on akmal's traits - asking for her bottle every 3 hours on the dot, akmal was 4 hourly though. now she's slowly becoming like asyraf - moody, fussy and crying out until someone carries her. i'm hoping that's just part of her growth spurt and she would grow out of it.

she's drinking more per bottle now. initially she could only take in 2oz + 1 oz. sometimes even less and some of the milk had to be thrown away. now she's taking in 3.5oz to 4oz. sometimes split into 2 feeds, sometimes all in one go.

amira had her one month check up yesterday. she's put on a whole kilo, she now weights 3.7kg. she's filling up at her tights and on her cheeks. the scar of her BCG shot is showing now, right on time per the nurse in the maternity ward.

amira is slowly recognizing faces and voices. she's able to stare into our faces a long time, showing she recognizes us. she's turning her head to follow voices, showing she recognizes us. she doesn't smile much, but is slowly showing her smirk a few times, here and there.

amira is the only one who loves being swaddled. her brothers would kick and punch their way out of the swaddles but amira could sleep soundly through the night (or through the next feeding) and not move a muscle being in her swaddle blanket. she used to sleep all swaddled during the day too but not anymore as she would perspire a lot if swaddled during the day.

despite being only a month old, amir's gone out a few times. we took her for a night drive one time when hubby had to get something from his office. she's also followed us for abangbee's graduation and then when abangbee had something on at hubby's office. there's also her one-month check up. she loves being in the car and being in her car seat. she's could sleep throughout and doesn't kick up a fuss. another of ariff's trait.

one of my favorite parts of amira is her hair…he spiky spiky hair. the nurses in the maternity ward first spiked up her hair when she was born and until now her hair would stand at attention and refused to be combed. we absolutely love it and she's been dubbed our 'little miss pacak'.

if there was one thing that i pray and hope and pray and pray hard that amira would change, honestly, is her 3-hourly bottle request. yes, its good because i can gauge timing and plan accordingly but waking up every 3 hours at night is getting very tiring. she's doesn't fuss much during night feeding, she cries, i wake up, change her diapers, prepare her bottle, put her down, give her the bottle and then she would fall asleep. no need to rock or pat or be all stressed getting her back to sleep, that bit she's really wonderful but its just so tiring. i've been sleeping through the night for over 5 years, to repeat the night feeding at this age, is very difficult. i know people say, during the daytime when your baby sleep you should catch up on your lost sleep but err…there's four others that require my attention. so when actually can i get this catch-up-lost-sleep moment?


the value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults - peter de vries

grown-ups never understand anything for themselves and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explainning things to them - antoine de saint-exupery
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