Wednesday, June 26, 2013

It Happened Again

this is the second episode, after the horrible one three years ago. the first was during raya morning last year. a bit weird though, that during our 'sleep disturbed by hourly feeding' phase, we had no scares. but when we're at our '10pm-6am' sleep, we had 4 episodes in 6 years.

anyway, it started in the morning (it always does since hubby's trigger has always been his sleep, or lack thereof). when hubby was about to go downstairs he said that his head was a bit whacked-out. he said he didn't know why he wasn't praying on the praying mat. yeah, small things like that could, or could not, be signs.

he had breakfast with amir and said they were going off. about 5minutes after that i got a missed call and a text from hubby asking me to come by to the nearby kopitiam to pick amir & asyraf up as he didn't think he could drive. i was on the way out to send ariff & akmal and made a quick detour. apparently hubby had a near miss at the 2 roundabouts between the house and the kopitiam and felt it would be a bit too dangerous to continue driving.

i picked up amir & asyraf, asked hubby to get himself to the nearby clinic and drove all four boys to school. i drove passed the clinic on the way back and decided to stop by to see how hubby was doing. it felt a bit weird as he didn't see me at all until i was sitting next to him, and he was directly facing the door. yet another small sign. he had already seen the doctor, who said he seemed normal. i didn't think so as he was mumbling and could not speak proper sentences.

hubby got the doctor to write him a referral letter to see his neuro and his knee surgeon at dsh and was talking to his colleague on how to proceed with the letters. when he put down the phone he called me over to him to explain the procedure. in the midst of explaining he suddenly stopped talking and looked up. i remember thinking 'oh no...its happening!' and i was right. his mouth opened wide, his eyes went to the back of his head and he was about to start his shout/scream, for lack of words to describe the noise he makes when he's having his episode.

i called out to the man sitting near hubby to get the doctor. he ran in and came out with 3 other men who picked hubby up, who at that time, was all stiff and shouting, into the emergency room. the doctor quickly followed in with 3 nurses and an attendant. one of the men came up to me to give me hubby's phone (alhamdulillah). the doctor and his team pulled the curtain around hubby's bed and i stepped out - not wanting to see hubby in that condition. the attack lasted longer this time around - i think it was almost 4-5minutes.

as his attack wore off and the doctor was able to get some response from him, i pulled back the curtain to see how he was. he was utterly confused and the doctor asked me to continue talking to him to help him overcome his confusion. i was later informed that the longer the attack lasted, the more confused he would be once the attack wears off. that explains hubby throwing off the oxygen mask and his growls and angry looks whenever the doctor and his team spoke to me.

we were at the clinic for about an hour, getting hubby to overcome his confusion and deciding what to do after leaving the clinic. we went home for a bit, made appointments with the neuro and knee surgeon, picked up amir & asyraf from school and went to dsh. we were at the hospital for almost 6 hours, seeing two doctors.

it was a long, stressful and confusing day. on one hand, hubby had a long attack and was majorly confused post the attack. on the other hand, he recovered relatively quickly, being able to drive by that afternoon. its different from the attack three years ago. honestly, i am pretty confused about the difference. maybe i shouldn't be but i am. i would like to know why he was feeling the effects for almost a week three years ago, when his attack lasted about a minute or two, and was fine within a day after this attack, when his attack was twice as long. not that i want to push for answers but i would like to know.

anyway, we were running non-stop from morning and it was not surprising that hubby and i was totally out once we got home. i think we slept for almost two hours, leaving the four boys to entertain themselves. they hardly disturbed us and were accident-less the whole time, syukur alhamdulillah.

we had many many friends and neighbors offering to help out with the boys after hubby's attack. we're eternally grateful for that. we're also thankful for every single text, status comments, whatsapp messages, facebook PMs, wechat notes that we received from everyone, near and far. its lovely to know we have wonderful friends to support us during times like these.


Emma Baser said...

Be strong Nina, you can do it ..insyaallah.. my prays always for you n isham and the boys ...

aisha said...



silent reader all this while.


the value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults - peter de vries

grown-ups never understand anything for themselves and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explainning things to them - antoine de saint-exupery
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