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Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Another Episode

it happened a year and a half ago. a year and a half ago it happened at a safe place - at home. this time, it wasnt safe. hubby had his epileptic fit again. this time - while driving, while all 6 of us were in the car. it could have been 6 of us becoming none of us.

but it didnt, alhamdulillah. no one was injured, alhamdulillah. it happened near home and not on nkve - alhamdulillah. it happened when i was there and not hubby alone, alhamdulillah. i have lots of things to be thankful for. but i have lots of things in my mind. lots of things we have to think about. lots of things etched in our heads. i remember hubby screaming and looking up to the sky, his hands clenched. i remember the boys crying with fear in their eyes. i remember trying to stop hubby from biting his tongue, remember trying to stop the car, playing with the gear, pushing hubby's feet awat from the accelerator. i remember but i dont want to.

it happened in mere 30 seconds but the memory scares me to my very soul. amir remembers and he gets scared. ariff is scared of car rides. hubby was out for 10 full minutes. hubby cant remember a single thing. he only remember hearing a voice asking - do you want to stay or do you want to go back. he fought to go back.

i got the chills entering our home without hubby, without the boys, with only amir. i dont want it to be that way...not yet, we're not ready.

for now, we learn and we move on. its scary to think of what could have been, its frustrating to think of what if. its every single emotion screaming out from me but we need to be strong and move on. for now, we are car-less. i get weepy seeing pictures of our beloved car. we love that car. i wonder what it feels now. i'm sorry car...we'll get you back soon, insyaallah.

thank you, though, to those who helped and prayed for us and asked how we are. thanks to my 2 sisters, my dear daddy, the ER team (watie, andy, fidah, shareefa), to zu for just hearing me cry and cry and cry, to azrul for being syam's drip partner. thanks to all who called and sms-ed and commented on my status. i do appreciate all your smallest 'take care's to your biggest hugs.

14 comments:

saveme_zero said...

syukur alhamdulillah semuanya selamat sis. moga semua kembali sihat..aminn.

saveme_zero said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
s2m3r said...

kak salina..u're very brave..kalau ila...mau pengsan kak oit....

moga kudin dan amir cepat sihat...for the kiddos..moga cepat2 hilang trauma....mesti dia org dah takut nak naik kereta

to you....do take care and get a good rest ye

Liza said...

salina, we may not be that close, however, i can feel the scary thoughts running through your mind. My prayers are for you and family, for everything to be ok. The boys will get through this Insyallah..Cause the boys are strong, just like their mom ;)

Afne said...

kak js, kuatkan semangat. insyaallah semuanya ok & pulih mcm biasa.

hugs & kisses for the boys.

ZuNas77 said...

Alhamdulillah..mmg miracle takde injury dgn accident mcm tu..

i pun phobia..takmo dpt call pagi2 mcm tu lagi..takmo dgr u meraung2 kat phone mcm tu lagi..boleh buat sakit jantung..harap2 kita semua di jauhkan dari ujian mcm ni..

coconutt said...

Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah, Alhamdulillah,
Alhamdulillah semua selamat.

For all what you have gone thru with this, you are truly brave old friend.....

nae said...

*hugs*

ain said...

alhamdulillah semuanya selamat.
hope u and the kids are ok. and hope your husband gets well soon. take care.

Erin-mummy Marsya Qistina + Marissa Qaisara said...

Syukur alhamdulillah..semua selamat... Sally mujur u ada sewaktu kejadian...

Syukur sangat2...
Take care always.

Kalau erin...tak tau nak kata apa dah... (coz i ni pun cepat panik).

Liasari said...

alhamdulillah syukur semua org selamat. be strong, ni ujian. take care

gartblue said...

*hugsss*

I completely understand how you feel .. butterflutter just mentioned this post to me .. coincidentally, Ariz had his 4th febrile fist last week and we've been referred to SJMC for a neuro consult, at the risk of epilepsy ..

I cried and I cried and I cried. I worry and I worry some more. But we can only cry and worry so much, life needs to move on.

I hope you're okay now and i pray that the boys would be alright too .. for hubby, I hope things are much much better now ..

p/s need a hand, I'm at 53, Kubah 53. Just a shout away.

nOLie said...

Sally. Alhamdulilah...all of you selamat. Baru tau this news dari ila. Take care ok.

NOOR AZURA MOHD JAAFAR said...

Alhamdulillah, semua selamat... kak sally take care ya!

Smoga kita sentiasa dilindungi olehNYA... Amin...

...sayings

the value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults - peter de vries

grown-ups never understand anything for themselves and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explainning things to them - antoine de saint-exupery
 
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