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Monday, February 02, 2009

Maidless And Loving It

i think a lot of people know this by now...we dont have a maid. the statement still brings about surprised gasps from people but i dont know why it should, really. there's a lot of people with no maids nowadays. i think half of my married friends are maidless, so i personally dont find our decision shocking.

maybe because of the number of children we have (plus their gender) that people naturally assume we should have a maid around to help. surprising as it may sound, the only time we ever seriously considered having a maid was when amir wasnt even born yet. after that we never thought of getting one anymore. after asyraf came, then ariff...now baby no4, it just all became a routine that it gets easier to manage.

bathtime? all in the bathroom at one shot...
mealtime? all fed from the same bowl at one shot...
naptime? all...all over the room (some on the bed, some on the mattress, some on the floor) at the same time...
sleeptime? all at the same time everynight...

hubby and i have gotten our individual tasks (almost) perfected. we know what each other is supposed to do and we know not to get in each other's way. of course now everything gets in my way and i'm so irritated by it - its as though the house, especially the kitchen, is not big enough for me to walk in but that's another story.

i guess the main thing in making this work is to not expect a lot. the house may not be spotless, the table may not always be lined with food, the boys may not always be fresh-smelling, the clothes may not always be washed and folded (eh...sorry, they always are!) but its good enough for us.

another is to find help where and when you need them. for us help is in the form of the daycare to help out with the boys on our days off and when we work late (they are a god-sent!), my sister to help when we need to go out at night (very rare) or when we need a breather on weekends (she would take amir for the day, soon it will asyraf too), the weekly cleaner to help make the house almost spotless, the dry cleaner to iron clothes as i seriously do not do that task. other than that, hubby and i are pretty ok handling things on our own.

it also help to tell ourselves, things are not smooth-flowing and it shouldnt be. there are times when we make mistakes, there are times when we yell a little too loud because we're just too darn tired, there are times when the boys have a boo boo because we cant watch all 3 at once, there are times when we just couldnt get up in the morning, there are times when we wish we had a maid (especially when it comes to dirty diapers and for that moment of peace so that we can enjoy our dinner), there are times when the boys are just too difficult to handle we just feel like running away (or hide behind the doors, eh dayang nolie?). there are times like those but they pass by. then its back to just the 5 of us.

hubby and i do get worried. what if there's an emergency? what if one of us needs to go away for a night or two? what if we, or one of the boys, fall sick? it would help to have an extra pair of hands, i'm not denying that. handling 4 boys alone is no picnic. we have our back up plans, we've tested some of them, we've yet to test the others.

and more importantly, we pray. we pray that our decision is the best decision we have made for our family. in the future, we never know. when the boys start school, we never know. when the laundry gets neck-high, we never know. but for now, we are maidless...and loving it.

12 comments:

Mary J said...

Eventhough it is good for people to give advices and words of wisdom so that we can learn from the experience of others, but there will be times when we have to listen to ourselves for only we know what is right and what is not. We have our own gut feeling, instincts, which might be different from other people. Do what is right, persetan kan komen2 itu.. hahaha

p/s: what's with the above entry? sedih jer bunyi nyer

eiseai said...

Mary j, offering words of wisdom is fine enough but assuming having no maid majorly affects my life is ridiculous. Sometimes I get replies like 'cos u don't have a miad, kan?' to every decision I make. Which is just so weird cos that's d last thing we think about when we make decisions.

P/S entry atas tu utk mengrealisekan myself that there's a possibility I get another difficult baby and I meroyan again after I give birth cos I can see it coming.

Puan nOLie said...

butul butul...maidless...aman bahagia idop...saper kata lagik jimat.? kira balik tengok ..dapat yang ok ...alhamdulilah..dapat yang buat sakit kepala Oooihhh ..kang ader nirmala bonat part 2 kang...

mommamia said...

*standing ovation* clap clap clap u prove it already dear,bukan sumer kalut ribut berpunca dr factor takde maid,and tak semestinya ada maid semua benda akan smooth..pro n cons,yg penting u comfortable and everything is under control-org yg bising2 u takde maid tu ntah2 hidup lg kucar kacir dan kelam kelibut-apa2 pun i tetap angkat u jadi role model i,i n hubby pun dah decide rumah we all as 'no-maid zone'nnti tak selesa pulak nak topless(bkn i,tp hubby) ;)

Anonymous said...

whatever ppl said, maidless is always the best. mcm ni je lah, just enjoy doing it eiseai. keep reminding u and yr husband that the experience is priceless. don't push yrself for perfection.. just do whatever the best u can do. and yes, keep praying...

mom2que said...

I second you! I had a maid twice and regretted it all my life now. I shouldnt even try!

House works and kids shouldnt be huge if everyone in the household chips in and no outsiders interfere (with pointing fingers, discouraging words etc). I paling tak tahan when a husband who helps doing chores was claimed as 'Queen Control'. Like what the...? Cant people mind their own marriage?

Now we are maidless. No headache. No heartache. Bliss. Loving it big time!

azie said...

oohh i smile while reading this entry...yes..true, being maidless we cant expect too high either from our husband..or from our childrens or from our own house..

kak..ada masa2 nye..mmg kubiarkan je rumahku itu tunggang langgang.hahahha

eiseai said...

nolie...aman bahagia pun ye, pening kepala pun ye. hehehe...

mar...one thing i dont like about maid is i dont like depending on people. also takut nanti time maid takde, i aim nak everything kemas and in order macam time ada maid, and memang tak boleh lah cos u cant do everything kan?

anonymous...there's not point in trying to achieve perfection cos that will never be achieved. mesti ada je yg tak betul so as long as its liveable, its ok.

mom2que...true. if husbands help out its a bonus. it cuts the job by half. for me, my hubby dont necessarily do housework but he takes care of the boys while i do my chores and that lifts the burden off my shoulders.

azie tu lah. lek2 je kan. tak bersih, tak cuci, tak siap...takpe.

andy21 said...

this entry mcm sad skit tapi entah..

tapi pas u dah ok, kiter plan for picnic again..

the most important thing, jgn luper our trip this mid of March.. yezzaaa...

Liza said...

i have the same policy, the maidless policy ever and Insyallah, planned to stick to it. Tapi kdg2 bengang gak when people ask and I said I have no maid and they have the guts to tell me "u takpelah, anak dah besar2" or "u takpelah, parents ada tolong" though I totally disagree with this 2 statements cause one - anak i tu sebelum dia besar, they were small yer...duh! and two - i only have my parents support for the last 2 years cause they have retired and by that time, my kids pun dah skolah...whatever lah, for me this is our decision(mine and hubby) so we just have to manage ler kan..

sorry, panjang lak the comment but i just couldn't help it...

kaezrin said...

betul..i still live without maid..they;re time like u said i just wish i can go away but i still love all this private time and freedom in my house with no one (outsider) in it...

nuriarif said...

cakap pasal maid nie, zaman skrg nie dah macam trend semua org dok ada maid. and akan dipersoalkan kalau sesebuah family tu takde maid. sama jugak bila seseorg perempuan yg dah berkahwin tak keluar bekerja, pon akan dipersoalkan jugak. bila difikir-2kan, zaman-2 mak kita dulu, lg lah, anak mungkin sampai 6 atau lebih. boleh je manage. ada jugak yg kuar bekerja, still tak guna maid. bg nuri, maid nie buat lg sakit kepala je. lg satu, urusan rumah tangga kan tanggungjawab suami isteri, buat apa nak suh org lain buatkan...sorry ye kak sally, komen panjang pulak;-p

...sayings

the value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults - peter de vries

grown-ups never understand anything for themselves and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explainning things to them - antoine de saint-exupery
 
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