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Thursday, March 13, 2008

Boys Versus Girls

it started out as a joke between hubby and i. we wanted to have 11 boys to make up a football team. when people started asking the number of children we plan to have, that's what we would say. some take it very seriously and some laughed it off. to us, it wasnt a target, it wasnt a dream, its not even a wish. but it became our tagline for some reason.


when we had amir, asyraf and then ariff, people started making comments. comments that made me wish i did have 11 boys. when i got pregnant for the second time, people congratulated us and had to selit in...hopefully its a girl. i just smiled. its ok, that's their hope. our hope as parents was just to have a healthy baby.


then when we were expecting ariff, it got even worse. people started pushing for a girl. some said "best apa dapat girl", some went "girl boleh tolong dalam dapur", some even said "lagi-lagi lelaki" or "lelaki lagi..."


even now that we have 3 wonderful boys, there are still people who go "takpe...next one try for a girl." ok...what's the takpe for? as if its not good enough to have only boys.


ok...first of all (ni dah marah lah ni) it is "best" with boys. my household is "best" enough with the 3 boys that i have. there's no "tak best" about it.


secondly, which sekolah pondok did they go to, to assume that only girls help in the kitchen? ever heard of jamie oliver? see this website if you have time, made by a man to show food cooked by a man. not only that, my hubby is a great cook. he can slice and dice onions like the best of them, he can cook one mean mee goreng, he makes great kebabs (that i marinated), he loves cooking, he aspires to be jamie oliver in fact.


and as for "lagi-lagi lelaki", well...if the parents wants it that way and the parents are the ones who bring up the "lelaki lagi" why are you so hot and bothered? why cant you just wish them the best and leave it as it is?


for us, we're happy. if we have more and if they are girls, we'll be happy. and if they are boys, we'll be happy. we have dont have anymore, we'll be happy.


our children will be brought up to love sports and good food like their parents. our children will be taught the joys of running on the pitch and the joys of slaving in the kitchen. be it a boy or a girl, our childen will be exposed to both worlds.


i do love boys, i have picked out names for boys. having said that i have also set aside girls names. but for now, the boys and us, we're happy and we're ever so grateful. what's not to be grateful when we are blessed with this...

15 comments:

syerah said...

kak sally,

dari smalam tunggu entry nih ok:)

sy cukup x boleh la kalau org sibuk2 suruh itu ini.family kita,ape kita nak, ape kite nak anak kita jadik,camne dieorang nanti..n ape2 saje,tu biar antara family kite je la kan.x payah org lain nak atur itu ini.x payah org lain nak sibuk2 nak mintak itu ini..paksa itu ini.kan?:)sbb kite yg jaga,kite yg nak besarkan.tak de pon mintak sape2 tlg kan.so,sila jgn sibuk.

soal boy ke girl ke kuasa tuhan.respect je la ape org lain nak.x payah nak perli ke ape ke.


yg benar,

aunty yg cayang sgt ariff..
hehehe:P

Being Normal said...

my initial plan was to have 5 kids just one girl and the rest are boys. however, I am like you, boy ke girl ke, I'll be happy...so, now I need another 2 yer...

i think whether boy or girl, it doesn't matter asalkan jadik anak yg soleh, tak gitew

s2m3r said...

puan akak salina.....
rezeki allah yang berikan
org bertanya tu mungkin mereka rasakan.....at least ada bunga di kalangan kumbang

lagipun at least ada lah satu girl
sbb nanti bila kite dah tua
ada girl yang boleh jaga kite
mmg boy boleh jaga kite
tapi bila bab2 hal sulit2 nieH...
lelaki ni dia malu2 sikit
kalau ada girl at least....tak de malu sangat...
tu pandangan iLa le..
even dulu masa pregnant pun iLa nak boy.....tapi dah dapat girl..alhamdulillah

whatever it is
rumah tangga kite..kite yang jaga
so ape org nak kata
biarkan...heheheh

masok tinger kanan
kuar tinger kiri....

kim salah kat adik amir, asyraf n ariff...muahhhhhhssssssss

Missus M said...

hehehe.. makcik terkena sebijik lah org2 penyibuk semua nie ;)
pendapat diaorg tak diperlukan dlm hal2 peribadi seperti hal family kan?
biarlah apa org nak kata pun, janji kita best.. hehehe

egain said...

hehehhe...i like this entry sbb pernah kena. I´m currently preggy..sibuk je org kata "mintak2 it´s a boy, da ada girl ni.." sentap gak dengar. Dahlah ms ngandung yg first sibuk suma kata hopefully it´s a boy. Ada yg kata takpelah girl, anak pertama. Mcm la kita yg leh tentukan. Bile my MIL siap ckp "..ala perempuan lg.."(ms tu cucu baru nk masuk ke-3)...mmg takleh tahan..marah sgt.

To me..boy/girl suma ada peranan diorg bile da besar nanti. Ntah nape org takleh puas ati if we´re having all girls or all boys only. Asal jd "orang" cukuplah.

mamasyazmar said...

I oso like this entry and my situation pun sejibik mcm egain.

As for me, whichever gender pun tak kesah as long as the baby is healthy - physically, mentally, spiritually. I just hope my kids tak letak i kat rumah org2 tua dah lah

ainn said...

k js..linkkan blog mamat tu...???kembang setaman la tuuu.. haha..

eiseai said...

syerah...tu lah. why must people make comments macam tu? why cant you just wish them the best and save your comments for another day. plus kita tak tau apa that person feels, maybe outside dia happy but inside dia tak. and words like that will not be welcomed. have a bit of feelings, itu je.

normal...yeah, most important is the health and what they grow up to be but when comments like that are constantly being shoved down your throat, you do wish "oh please let this one be a boy"

ila...true, parents usually turn to their daughters than sons to take care of them when they are old. but the period between having children and getting old can be a long one. and you can also plan when you are faced with the prospect of not having girls who will care for you, its not the end of the world for parents with no daughters. there's no guarantee that parents with daughters will be better taken care of than parents with only sons. plus i would rather doakan that i get a son who will guide his wife and children than wish for a girl who will take care of me when i'm old. i'd prefer to be a giver than a needer.

p/s salam dah dikirim kan :)

missus m...i tau you pun face similar situation kan? only yours isnt boy ke girl, yours is...bila nak dapat anak ni...betul tak? :)

egain / mamasyazmar...i serious tak paham lah. why do people make negative comments like that. isnt it nice to just wish for good and healthy baby than to make comments about its sex. by the way...hi :)

ainn...hehehe...serious lah. i respect hubby you for his ability to cook (even tho wife dia sekarang nak makan nasi je) and even more i like the way he take pride in what he produces. alhamdulillah my hubby pun suka masuk kitchen.

mommamia said...

betul laaa..i slalu rasa sometimes hidup kita ni kena control by society,ada jer yg tak kena..kalau tak kawen sibuk tnya bila nak kawen,dah kawen tanya lak bila nak dpt anak,dah dpt anak ckp pulak asik girl/boy jer..bla bla..boring..i sama mcm u,tak kira la boy/gurl,janji anak sihat,perangai baik,menyenangkan hati org tua,berjaya,cukuplah..kalau dpt both boy & girl alhamdulillah,kalu tak pun takpe,janji ada zuriat..so,futbal team heh?i like,nnti girls i jadik pom2 team heheh

hanis said...

hi sally!

salam perkenalan. slalu baca ur blog tapi blom pernah tinggal komen...hehe. i paham apa u rasa sbb kita sama laa sally, i dah ada 2 boys (age 5 & 2) & currently pregnant 3rd one & guess what? insyaallah akan dpt boy lagik this coming july hahaha.

tipu laa kalau kata tak teringin nak dpt girl tapi apa kita boleh buat. tu semua rezeki dari Allah & Alhamdulillah kita patut bersyukur sbb dpt peluang mengandung & melahirkan yg maybe someone takde rezeki nak merasa pengalaman tu semua. yg penting janji baby sihat & berdoa semoga anak2 kita membesar sbg anak2 yg soleh ;)

mock said...

org2 yg bagi comments tu contribute towards raising the boys ke? kalau tak, tell them to sod off!!

kombat said...

boys vs girls...

dulu, masa pregnant dina, hubby ada cakap, dia nak 'boys' je. confused jugak. napa tak nak girl. bila dia dah bgtau sebab-sebabnya, baru la tau, napa ada org prefer boys/girls.

nasib baik bila dina kuar, hubby still leh accept. tak de lah ralat sgt ke apa. cuma bab pilih baju, hubby akan pegang baju boy dulu.. saba je lah..

anyway, satu-satu family tu, ada plan dia sendiri :)

eiseai said...

mar...kalau ur girls semua comel mcm irina mmg i booking jadik pom pom girl dari sekarang :)

hanis...hi, welcome. sama kita all boys cuma lain kita in the sense tak i sebenarnya takde teringin nak girl (heh...serious tak tipu). i donno why.

mock...precisely. susah senang we're the ones who have to deal with it kan?

ana...hubby u pun takmo girl ke? i actually have my reasons, itu yg lagi upset when people keep pushing for a girl. we dont make plans and decisions based on nothing, ada lah sebab orang plan begitu. i wont share why i opt for my plans, but i just wish people wont look at it one-sided, as though if you have no girl, that's it...habis, susah hidup you forever. i'm sure people make ample plans kan?

zie said...

hehehehhee..gelak i baca enrty nie ina - knowing you and your lust for sports pun, i tahu u tak tipu tak mo girls-hahahaha- alaa- biaser lah org na, bila 1,2 dpt anak same gender org akan kata ler hopefully next one new gender- even ada kwn i bila Dr diagnose die preggy boy, die sungguh dissapointed, suh Dr scan lg bebetul- hahahaha- sb nak anak girl lak- apa yg i rasa yg ptg cukup sifat segalanya sempurna- ada kwn i- dah 5 girls tau- die pening dah-honestly i nie kalu bg option untuk no.2, i nak girl- sb i suka ler dress up die-baju kat sini masyaALLAH poket terbakar kalu girls nyer- lgpun i nak suh die org join in tari menari mak inang ker apa- okeh apa kan rhyme dak ngan pasukan bola u? pasukan bola vs kumpulan tari mak inang?hahaha

eiseai said...

zie...orait set!! ni baru betul2 boys v girls ni. kalau ur next baby is a girl as lawa as ur afia, i pun jatuh cinta...hahahha.

p/s zie...let your girls buat tarian wau bulan pun ok kan :-)

...sayings

the value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults - peter de vries

grown-ups never understand anything for themselves and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explainning things to them - antoine de saint-exupery
 
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