Saturday, April 29, 2006

Not A Surprise...

before the game started i told hubby that chelsea would win, by a small margin, with the score of 2-1. i wasnt totally wrong. chelsea did win, tho by a bigger margin. united lost 0-3. i knew chelsea would win because they had more going for them - last game at stamford bridge, playing against united, losing to liverfool recently. while united, even if they won, would not get anything except for the prestigious 2nd place - which is now not even a certainty.

the first half was alright. trailing by only 1 goal, possession was 50-50. no hard tackles (with terry, lampard, rooney & ronaldo around, you cant expect a clean game.) unfortunately the second half was not as great. tackles started flying in, cards being shown, 2 goals for chelsea. i thought united played ok, a 3-0 scoreline didnt really reflect the match. rooney got injured, darn it. there goes england's chance in the world cup. they were counting on rooney. like the last euro, once rooney got injured, england went downhill. terry (who i hope would succeed bex as captain) is also injured, although his didnt look as bad as rooney's seeing he played for more than 60 minutes.

i dont mind chelsea winning, i have no problem (yet) with them. i think they've got really good players in terry, lampard, cech, makalele (yees...yees...yees...), robben (certain parts of him) but i didnt like the way drogba was celebrating outside the pitch when the final whistle hasnt even been blown. i thought that was very disrespectful of him...there was still 2 minutes on the clock and he was jumping up and down at the bench with the supporters. come on...your teammates are still on the pitch, show some respect man.

i also dont get this yellow cards for lifting/taking off shirt rule. what happened to it? i thought players were not allowed to celebrate goals by lifting or taking off their shirts but lately i saw 2 players who were not cautioned for doing exactly that. what happened to the rule...was it taken away? who cares if players want to take off their shirts...its part of a goal celebration. let them be...unless of course its ryan giggs. sorry giggsy, as much as that goal against arsenal (fa cup semi final replay 1999) was spectacular (eat your heart out, veira)...we dont need to see so much hair on the telly. thanks but no thanks.

anyway...its all for the 2nd spot now. next match is against boro, united's bogey team. if they lose that game, there goes the 2nd place.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

New Job

started my job on monday. so far things are going ok. the office looks cool, except for the fact that its sooo far away and i have to spend an hour on the road. but what to do, they offered the best at the moment.

amir's doing ok so far. left him with my aunt's bibik. he cried his eyes out the first day, but he seems to be doing well yesterday and today. apart from the time i step into my aunt's house, he doesnt really cry that much. been eating better too...if you call eating cookies & french fries eating better.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

Stressful End to the Week

ever since he was down with food poisoning and diarrhoea, amir's been lying down and whining. its natural, of course, since he's weak from lack of food and has been throwing up everything that we put in his mouth. it was a difficult 3 days. i had to do the laundry 7 times in 3 days. our bedsheet, his bedsheet, the cloth we used to cover the bedsheet, our blanket, his blanket, towels and many clothes. his clothes and our clothes. i was up for 4 nights, making sure he did not throw up when he slept or if he did, he was picked up straight away. i had to monitor his water intake because he was almost completely dehydrated and his fontanelles was sunken.

we took him to the doctor after 1 day. we thought he was feeling better because he had been up and about. but the scariest thing happened when we were waiting for our roti canai at the nearby mamak place. amir was sitting on the high chair, hubby had his foot under the chair. all of the sudden hubby felt water dripping onto his foot. it was amir, his stools were so watery, it was dripping down. there was a lot too!! we asked the mamak to tapau our roti and took him to the clinic immediately. the doctor gave us packets of hydration salt, which amir wasnt too keen on taking. we had to put into his milk. he was so weak after that, he just lied down in his cot and blinked at us, without saying anything.

alhamdulillah, the worst was over after 3 days. he stopped throwing up & stopped having watery stool. unfortunately, he was still dehydrated and was not urinating at all, especially at night. thank god that only happened 1 night, the next day we was almost back to normal. yeah, almost.

after his bout of diarrhoea, amir became very clingy. i was confused the first day. he wouldnt let me out of his sight. he wouldnt go to sleep during the day as he was afraid i would leave him. he refused to be picked up by anyone other than me and his daddy. even my cousin who he has seen thousands of times, could not get close to him. the moment she stepped in the room, he would start screaming and kicking his legs. for the first time, since he turned 3 months old, he wanted to be 'dodoi'ed to sleep. amir's not the type to cuddle, he likes to sleep by himself in his cot, while watching 'bear in the big blue house' or 'pb and j otter'. he doesnt like it when people disturb his last moments before going to sleep, not even me or hubby. and now he wants a cuddle in the middle of the day. its not like him at all.

i went to my cousin's house yesterday. i wanted him to get used to the house, as i'll be leaving him there when i go to work. he would not let go of my shirt! he would not sit on the floor or the chair by himself, he wanted to sit on my lap all the time, even when i was eating. when i was praying he started screaming and pulling my telekung. he screamed for 30 minutes yesterday. it was soooo stressful. i called hubby, crying, telling him i cannot handle this. i'm tired with the pregnancy and lack of appetitte and he's shouting the place down. seeing that i was at my wits end, my cousin toook him kicking & screaming to the park nearby. finally he calmed down, although he was still sobbing every now and then.

everyone kept telling me its because of the pregnancy. the babies and toddlers can tell that their mother is pregnant and find it difficult to accept the changes. i dont know how long this is going to last. its not easy, its really tiring me out. good thing i have 4 days before i have to report to work, i'll use the 4 days to get my energy back. hopefully amir's more calm the next time we tryout his babysitter.

Friday, April 21, 2006

On Call...

called up my potential employer just now. i was supposed to start on monday, as requested by the head of department. i spoke to the hr department about it, as i have not heard a peep from their side after i informed them of my availability. should i report to work on monday, or shouldnt i?

so, this is what they told me. wait until i get the letter of offer. dont come in until we call you. i guess i'm "on call" now. from the way she said it, it sounded like they are in the midst of preparing the letter of offer and i should get it in the near future, as with the phone call to come in. but then, i also have this feeling (the pessimist side of me talking) that i may not get a letter of offer after all. i guess this is where it gets a little confusing, where the department has agreed to take someone on, but the hr department have not agreed to the final terms and conditions.

i'm a bit confused now. on one hand, i'm grateful for the extra days that i get to spend with amir, yet i'm also worried that i may not be needed after all. guess this is "the week before taking the UPT" all over again. i'll just pray for a good news. in the meantime, spend as much time as amir as i can.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

That's Me On TV

i got the latest issue of nona magazine last night. not that i'm a reader of the mag but more for a particular article (on pg 121, for anyone who's interested).

Wednesday, April 19, 2006


did i say i had no craving when i'm pregnant? well...i lied. i do have cravings. and i crave (so badly) for pasta!! i could eat dozens of bowls of pasta. its so yummylicious. the sour-er it is, the better. i don really crave for the creamy-based (i love it...but not so often & cant eat so much, muak lah). but the tomato-based...omigod...yummsss!!

so this is my lunch for today. bought the pasta sauce in the bottle & just heat it up with some spaghetti. added some florets of brocolli. i do so love brocollis and its good for the baby.

on another delicious little teddy bear, who has been out with food poisoning & diarrhoea is finally up and about today. we were ready to admit him to the hospital cos he has been losing a lot of water. but alhamdulillahh he's fine now.

my third delicious news - tonight is grey's anatomy night. i love this cool!

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Unexpected Turn of Events

i got a great big shocking news yesterday. a friend of mine offered me a job after a simple interview. it wasnt an interview to begin with. it was just a sitting down session, with her asking me 'i have this position - do you want to fill it?' 'how much are you willing to accept?' and 'when can you start?'. that's it. she didnt ask me much, she didnt even look at my transcripts. she just had my simple CV and said...can you start this week?

i am still confused. yeah, i would love to work at her place (the office is wayyy beyond cool), i would love to have a secure monthly income, i would love to do what they want me to do (its just so cool - cool for me, at least). but i have only 4 days...4 days to spend with my baby, my little terror, and then that's it...i have to hand him over to someone else. that's the only thing that's bringing me down. i spent a whole year just being with him, watching him grow, watching him cut his first tooth, watching him take his first solid, watching him hold his cup for the first time, watching him roll over, take him first step, crawl. i saw all that, and there's so much more i want to see.

but at the same time, working would benefit him too. he would be more independent compared to if i were to be with him all the time. he would know more people, rather than just daddy & mummy (who turn down invitations because they cant bear to let people babysit him). working would benefit me too, other than the money bit. i can get more time to myself, which is important now that i'm pregnant. i need space to relax, calm down and be at one with the baby i'm carrying. i can get more exercise too...not just exercise as in yoga or pilates or step reebok, but more of exercising my mind, my soul, my thoughts. i was a very active person when i was pregnant with amir, and alhamdulillah, that helped a lot during labour and during my confinement.

the pros seem to overweigh the cons, in this case. but i cant bear to leave amir. he's been my best friend & my source of laughter. he's been with me 24/7 since the day he was born and now to not being able to see him when i turn around is going to be so painful. how i wish i can turn back time and relive the year i had with him. but we have to move on. its still my dream to be a full time, stay at home mum but that dream will have to be put on hold. for now, at least. in the meantime, i can only pray that he will be in safe hands and he is fine and happy.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

Food Craving

before i did my UPT to see whether i was pregnant, hubby had strange cravings to eat mee kari. he didnt let me know about it because his friends had been teasing him that he must be expecting a baby with that kind of craving. that week we were waiting for the news, so hubby did not want to get me all excited with the story of his cravings and his friends' teasings, just in case we were not expecting after all. to make a long story short, he did get his mee kari (at the expense of not eating lunch with his friends - the mee kari place is a bit further from his office and he went alone) and we are expecting.

when we went to do our weekly grocery shopping last tuesday, i asked hubby if he felt like eating anything special, like chicken rice (my chicken rice is quite yummy), or nasi minyak (also surprisingly yummy), or soto ayam, or sirloin steak. he chose mee kari. so we bought the neccessary ingredients (mee, tauhu, etc). hubby wanted to use chicken bones instead of little drummets or chicken meat. i would have prefered to use meat instead of just bones because to me, the chicken meat is important. if tak ada meat, it may not be so nice. but he chose the dish, so i went along with him. i promised to make it on saturday as we can make it for lunch and keep it till dinner.

so, yesterday was mee kari day. it didnt take me too long to prepare it. slightly over an hour. hubby wanted the bones to be really soft, so i let the curry cook longer than i would normally do. hubby helped out. i realise that he's the only person i can cook with. i'm not good at helping people in the kitchen, neither am i good at having helpers. i dont like to sit and go 'ok, what's next?' and i dont like people posing that question to me. i prefer to be on my own so that no one gets in my way and i can cook at my own pace. hubby, the assistant chef, cut the bones into small pieces, sliced the onions (i cant slice them like he can), opened the boiled eggs, cut the tauhu and most importantly put salt in the curry (he's the fussy one when it comes to the saltiness of food - it has to be just right, while i dont really mind if the food is not salty enough).

after zohor prayers, the food was ready. we sat down in peace (the little terror was having his afternoon nap) and we enjoyed our food. it was really good, i was surprised myself. this is only my second time making mee kari, and i must say, i'm pretty proud of the product. i want to try mee bandung next. found some recipies but i'm not sure which i should try.

my final product...

as for hubby's cravings, my gynea said that the reason he was having cravings is because we are "emotionally attached". i like the way she put it rather than some people's take on why husbands get cravings when their wives are pregnant - some say its because the husband love the wife; which would mean that if your husband doesnt get cravings he doesnt love you (??)ridiculous!!

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

I'm A Softie...

yup...i'm the winner of the "softie of the year" award. hubby went to fill up the car petrol tank. he took amir with him. i watch them drive off from the balcony. amir saw me & started waving. they've been gone exactly 1 minute & 42 seconds. i miss them (i actually called up hubby and cried). am i a softie or am i a softie...

amir watching tv this morning. he's such a couch potato...

watching 'higglytown heroes'...

then mula buat hal, when he's supposed to mandi. playing with mummy's inhaler...

hubby read my entries and comments today (public holiday kan - got a lot of free time). he wasnt too happy with some of my comments and demanded that i ammend some of them. so here goes...
1. hubby is not messy - he just likes to take wudhu at the sink, while i take mine at the shower. so the sink tabletop is always so wet after he takes his wudhu, not messy. so i dont really need a 'his and hers' sink.
2. no, he doesnt talk in the car until he doesnt realise that the car's not moving - it was an exxageration on my part.

so to my beloved hubby, sorry for meng-over-kan my comments (you know i'm a drama queen). love ya babe...

Wardrobe Re-Organising

i'm not even in my 7th week, and i cant fit my pants. oh no, oh no...bad news!! its early days yet, cant imagine how it would be when i hit my 17th week, or 27th week or (gasp!!) 37th week. i've always been one who would balloon waist-below. now, being pregnant, its even worse.

i didnt lose all the pregnancy weight i gained while carrying amir, so most of my pants are in a 'no-touch' zone. now i have to upgrade them to a 'dont-even-bother' zone. i started to reorganise my wardrobe. i have to rearrange and bring out all my pregnancy outfit. its too early for this but i need to eat in peace. i want to enjoy my food, not stop halfway because i can feel the zipper slowly sliding down. how embarassing it that?! so zipper pants are potential embarassment while pull-up pants would make my fetus suffer (not to mention his mummy's tummy). if i were to bring out the maternity pants now, hubby would have a fit. he's already warning me to control my weight. oh man...cant i be pregnant in peace?

on a brighter note - mothercare, here i come :)

Friday, April 07, 2006

New Addition

its confirmed by the doctor today. its there & its fine...

we've been trying for the past year...trying really hard!! i was surprised at getting pregnant so fast the first time around. we were just coming into our 2nd month of marriage when i got pregnant with amir. the pregnancy was easy, beautiful, fulfilling, exciting. i felt energetic all the time. the labour too, alhamdulillah, was bearable (hubby hates it when i said it was easy). i loved being pregnant, i love being in labour (i actually do!) and i love being a mummy. nothing fulfills me more than being a mother to amir (except being a wife, that's my first & foremost obligation).

because the 9 months was so wonderful, i couldnt wait to be a mummy for the 2nd time around. we thought it would be as easy as the first one. we were even confident that we'd get another before the year was over, thus having 2 babies in one year - amir was born early january. but i guess we can only dream and plan. it is not up to us...Allah has his own plans for us. it was difficult, a very stressful year. but we persevered, we prayed, and finally, our wishes came true. we went to the nearby clinic to check. the doctor said it was positive. i asked for a large supply of folic acid. we thought we could postpone our monthly visit to the doctor's clinic until i was in my 2nd or 3rd month. but then, i didnt feel comfortable. what if something's not right? so i mulled it over, spoke to hubby about it and we decided to see the doctor as soon as we can. the moment i stepped into her office, the doctor laughed. (note - i was just in her office 2 months ago, to ask if there was anything wrong with me as we've been trying for a year.) she said..."i guess you followed my advice."

after a bit of info digging - last LMP, current weight, how i'm feeling at the moment etc, she asked me to lie down on the bed. ok...scary moment...which ultrasound is she going to use?? ahhh...thank god...she's using the 'normal' one, not the 'painful' one. as soon as she put the ultrasound on my tummy, she cried..."ah, there is it!! there's the uterus & there's your little one." i looked at hubby (who was smiling) then looked at amir (who was struggling to get down).

i've been doing some thinking after i found out the big news. i now know why it happen, when it happened. i know...and i accept it. Allah knows more, Allah knows what is good for me, what is good for my family. i accept and i thank Him for all that he's given me, for giving me strength when i thought i couldnt go through another dissapointment, for giving me the courage to try again.

hubby wont be happy that i entered this into my blog. we planned to keep it under wraps for a while, but i guess good news are meant to be shared. if something happens along the way, nauzubillah, i will accept it just as i have accepted the long and stressful journey that ended in this beautiful miracle. insyaallah, with prayers, everything will be fine.

p/s my friend with the six were right after all!! now tell me if its a boy or a girl!

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Mummy...I'm Fine!

after a week of not eating, lying down, watching the tv with a swollen eye...amir's finally up and about. first thing hubby and i did was take him to the park. get him to exercise his legs. when he was under the weather, he didnt walk much - no energy, obviously. so his walking went back to stage 1, where he'd wobble about and fall down after 1 or 2 steps.

on sunday we took him to the football field. hubby wanted to see the game (while reminiscing his 'glory days'). at the same time, we let amir step on the grass. its softer so it'll give him the confidence to walk again. ever since then, he's been walking non-stop. he reminds us of 'kevin davies' since he walk like the 'mendada' idiot (we dont like him!). he's also a bit like mr bean, how he'd walk with his back straight, trying to control his balance.

got this in the mail today. i love getting development updates from babycentre & pampers as i can compare to amir's development and see if he's on track. of course, i know that i cant push him to be on par with the updates that i receive as each baby develop in their own special way. but sometimes, its nice to go...omigod, so THAT's why he does that. anyway, today's email goes like this..."Wherever you are and whatever you're doing, your toddler is always keen to go and explore his surroundings. Like a little wind-up toy, as soon as his feet touch the ground, he's off! At this age, children are constantly testing their abilities, climbing onto furniture, opening doors and cupboards, squeezing themselves into corners and getting stuck. At home, keep a regular check on your little one's whereabouts, especially when all goes suspiciously quiet! This usually indicates that baby's found something new and fascinating to do, and it could lead to trouble, or in the very least result in a big mess!" And this is what amir does when he's gone all quiet in the room. he'd push the laundry basket upright & would sit there with his keekae, watching elmo's world.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

A New Neighbour

hubby and i (with amir in tow) went to a kenduri doa selamat last thursday night (malam jumaat lah). a good friend of mine was moving into her new house. its funny that she's moving in so close to my house. we kept getting the "dont you people ever live apart?" and "cant you two separate?" comments throughout the night.

N was my very, very good (if not one of my best) friends since Uni. i donno how we clicked. we lived away from the rest of the Malaysian community in UKC. while other m'sians prefer to stay in the self-cooking homes, we stayed in the dorms. i didnt know how to cook, so why bother staying outside the dorm. furthermore, from the way they planned the map, it looked like it was quite a distance between the homes and the classes - i'm a late riser so didnt want to risk not being able to make it to my classes (turns out that didnt make such a big difference cos even though my class was just 2 storeys below my room, i'd still miss them).

coming back from UKC, N worked in an accounting firm, i worked in a bank. our offices were close by, so we'd meet up for lunch. not only that, our houses were not far away either. she stayed about 2 minutes away from my cousin's house - which i consider my second home. her youngest brother & my cousin were in the same class. the boys used to sleep over each other's house and then sleep over mine with N. after i came back from sheffield, after getting my masters degree, N put in my resume at the place she was working in. so we were now colleagues, albeit in different departments. we'd go for lunch together & meet up in the surau for asar. when N got married in 2001, i was given the honour of being her pengapit. i cried so much the day of her akad nikah that her mother had to pull me aside and calm me down (ahhh...malu when i think back). N was one of the first people i told when i got pregnant with amir. N was also one of my driving forces during the black days of 2002, and she had her first baby to handle at that time too. i must have stressed her out!

and now...she's also my neighbour. N's house is amazing. i absolutely love it. its a couple of phases after mine, and its just so beautiful. her house is similar to mine...well, it is in one housing area, so it cant vary so much. but her bathroom is just so wow - the his and hers sinks (omigawd!!). i'm especially glad for her two boys. they've been living in the apartment since they were born and as 3 & 4 year olds they need the space to run around and release their pent-up energy. the few times i've been to her house, the boys never stopped running. they love being in the spacious house and being in the playground nearby.

i'm really grateful that i'll have someone close by in case of an emergency. i know that i can count on N should i ever need her help and i know that she's one of the people i can rely upon to oversee amir as she adores him.

to N, welcome to the neighbourhood. i hope you and the boys will build a wonderful life here.


the value of marriage is not that adults produce children but that children produce adults - peter de vries

grown-ups never understand anything for themselves and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explainning things to them - antoine de saint-exupery
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